The Girls Who Went Away: Discuss!

It’s taken me far too long to compose my thoughts about this book. Mayhem has been ever-so-patient and for this I thank her. I apologize, dear readers, I do.

The Girls Who Went Away
by Ann Fessler

This book has been on BTW’s potential-read list for quite some time (since November 23, 2008, in case you were wondering) but for some reason it kept getting passed over for something or other. This cycle we were having trouble deciding what to read so we finally thought “Why not?” And I am so glad we did.

As you know, reproductive freedom is extremely high on our inalienable human rights list and that sex education in this country needs to move from abstinence-only “education” to comprehensive education. With that mindset, The Girls Who Went Away provided a depth and nuance to my understanding of these issues, supporting and furthering their veracity and necessity in my mind. Jennifer Baumgardner, in reviewing this book for Bitch, explained: “I had always been so drawn to reproductive freedom and justice as a catalyzing issue—but had never understood or really thought about the adoption piece.” I, too, had always thought of adoption as this thrilling and positive experience for all parties involved– The Girls Who Went Away exposed me to multitudes of women for whom this was certainly not the case and forced me to confront this reality. Adoption isn’t such an open and shut case for me anymore. This book was illuminating, heartbreaking, inspiring, enraging, and brilliant in its simplicity and clarity of purpose. E v e r y o n e should read this book. Everyone.

Mayhem: speaking of heartbreaking, have you started “the girls who went away” yet? i’m halfway through and i LOVE It. each new chapter breaks my heart a bit more.
me: yes. and yes. now why couldn’t BOS have been written as well as this one?
Mayhem: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!!  BOS would’ve been so much better if it had been structured like the girls who went away. this book has everything i wish BOS would’ve had.

This just in…

…Pope dumps load of Catholic shaming on Cameroon.

Seriously? Still? It’s 09, Pope. Make like a modern human being and wake the frak up. Because I’m just dying to hear his explanation for how the promotion of condom use “can even increase the problem” of the spread of HIV/AIDS and other STDs. And how exactly a “spiritual and human awakening” and “friendship for those who suffer” will help stop the spread or find a cure?

While this rebuttal isn’t fantastic, it does make an interesting faith-based analogy: [T]here is nothing in the Bible about wearing a seat belt. But it would be foolish of any pastor not to tell his or her members to use the safety device when driving. Churches all across the country trust and love their fellow members, but you can bet that an accountant is employed by many churches to ensure that no one is stealing the tithes and offerings.

Pope Benedict surely loves God and sees him as his protector and provider, but he goes nowhere without armed bodyguards. The pope has to know that murder is against God’s will. He has to believe that every person has the choice to be a moral and upstanding person. Yet not everyone abides by those religious views, and his security is there to prevent him from being harmed.

So how are condoms any different?

As I said, Pope, I’m all ears.

food for thought, parte deux

[cont. Book Club discussion: Female Chauvinist Pigs, by Ariel Levy]

let’s talk about young women and girls, for a short moment, shall we? I think some of the most arresting arguments that Levy makes are the ones that pertain to young women and girls; she reminds us that the things we do as women aren’t always without consequence and that our actions, however independent we think they may be, oftentimes, actually aren’t.